One of the skills we seldom learn in school is the crucial elements of authentic emotional connection. We learn how to convince others through numerous debate classes and events. As we move through our education and eventually secure a job, the focus continues to be on strategies to ‘win over’ our colleagues, audiences, partners and even our children. We celebrate the moment we convince someone rather than connect and create meaningful moments of impact.
There are literally thousands of books written to provide the ultimate secret to creating a connection romantically, personally or professionally. The idea of true heart-centered connections focusing on how people feel versus what we want from one another is hard to come by. Even harder to find is a solid system to create connections based on real emotions and not based on our goals or objectives.
Shifting your focus to how people feel rather than what we want to achieve in our communication seems to many like a frivolous and possibly risky move. In the back of our minds there remains this need to ‘get’ something from someone. The ironic twist is that we can’t possibly know what we will get from another person or group of people until we do connect on an authentic and emotional level. Any other strategy will fail to provide a lasting and organic sense of trust. Genuine trust is at the heart of all effective communication. Traditionally, trust is won through evidence. Its proven over time that one is worthy of another’s trust.
There is a new way that can produce the level of trust that gives birth to long term loyalty and mutual ‘moments of impact’ to create relationships that are completely devoted to the same goals and the same energy. Those ‘moments of impact’ are created in the architecture of Emotional Matrix Design.
There are 3 primary components to the essentials of building your matrix. Let’s looks those briefly.
1. Emotional Nucleus. We all have an emotional core or nucleus, similar to an emotional DNA. It is instinctive and intuitive. Most people have no idea what their emotional nucleus is. Many people struggle to understand what an emotion is from the start. Learning the integral and scientific principles on how an emotion differs from a feeling or state is crucial before you start to determine your nucleus.
2. Emotional Gateways. Once you have determined what your nucleus is for you personally, you need to next build context. Two people or a thousand people can have the same nucleus, however that word can mean different things to different people. Emotional Gateways are essential to build the context we need to form an authentic system that will support and communicate our nucleus in a powerful, effective and highly personalized way.
3. Emotional Towers. As the word suggests, towers should reach high and tall, but remain very focused on the gateways that support each tower. Creating a matrix of words and concepts to explain in detail what your words mean to you and how they affect behavior provides a highly detailed and fully integrated matrix to support your emotional nucleus.
Building your Emotional Matrix Design is complex and yet also very simple, once you understand the way emotions are created and how our connection emotionally affects our relationships. Communicating with one individual, a group or a global audience all creates the same effect when done strategically and accurately.
If you have any doubts just ask someone what Tony Robbins’ core nucleus might be. Or consider how many moments of impact have been created with the simple word “Ayo”, creating one of the most powerful emotional connections on the planet between one man and the millions whose hearts responded to Freddie Mercury in those moments.
The word is important. The context is crucial. The moments of impact will last a lifetime and possibly beyond.
Anne Leedom is the Founder of EmotionalLifeDesign.com, a premier communication and consulting agency based in California. Her unique strategies have helped hundreds of individuals and companies create powerful relationships and impact millions of lives, and in many cases, just one. For more information visit www.emotionalmatrixdesign.com.