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Lose the Guilt: Five Strategies to Ignite People’s Hearts with Your Communication



If you are looking to create a tribe for your business or with just one person, the concepts are very similar. Research shows motivation through guilt and the long standing 'convincing wheel' doesn't work in the long-term. Not with people one-on-one and not with large groups. Trust is what works. And emotions build trust. In researching the platforms of today’s leading content experts, including Dr. Phil, Tony Robbins or Wayne Dyer, and resource experts like Dr. Oz or Oprah, as well as some of the most impactful and emotionally connected people I know, there is a common denominator.


The ability to focus specific emotions and to carve out your own core emotion or emotional nucleus and to build your communication around that heart-centered place is what creates massive connection over time.


Here are the 5 strategies that will move you from trying to convince others to buy into your ideas, emotional and thoughts, to creating massive authentic loyalty and a powerful sense of belonging with your recipients.


1. Shift your Perspective. Start by asking yourself the most important question you will ever consider. What is your real intention? If it’s about simply securing a goal, that won’t get you where you want to go. Securing your overall goal is the result and not the intention. Your real intention should be focused on how people will experience their lives emotionally and how they will feel, rather than what they will do, based on your communication.


Information, regardless if it's between just two people, a small group or a national audience, is far more well received once we feel profound trust and are secure that the communicator is truly invested and committed to our well-being. The academic approach will in many cases convince people to follow your ideas, but it alone will not typically build a long-term relationship based on loyalty and connection.


2. Step Back. Take the time to re-evaluate the emotional presentation and impact of your communication. Choose a few select words that reflect how you want to help others to experience their life, regardless of their circumstances. Once they feel a strong emotional connection with you, your ideas and credibility will be far more relevant. Be very specific and choose emotional words. Avoid words that describe a state. Happy is a state. Excited, content, satisfied, elated…these are emotional words. Emotions happen in a fast period and are not sustainable. There are many thesauruses online that focus on emotional words. The stronger and more unique your words are, the more you will create a unique and powerful presentation in your communication that will connect with people.


3. Create an Emotional Profile. Utilizing select emotional words that reflect your emotional core or nucleus, create a communication profile or visual reference of potential topics that speak directly to recipients you want to reach. Think of it like a vision board of emotions that are clearly connected with your own heart. These can then be utilized to communicate to the people or even just one person you want to reach. Leading with your emotional message and then following up with specifics will increase the level of receptivity from your person, people or tribe.


The “Tony Robins effect”, as I call it, is about creating a powerful, sincere and meaningful belief in the impact of your work to people or to a person who is looking for your specific emotional message. Effective communicators impart a profound and intense sincerity to their recipients. They are also extremely accessible emotionally. Utilize a specific emotional profile design to build that bridge, based on your emotional nucleus.


4. Life Bites. Create emotional bites, concepts and short quotes that represent your Emotional Profile. As you build your communication style with your emotional message in front, people will begin to connect with you personally, and then to your ideas and thoughts. The more methods you have to communicate your message and your emotional profile, the more people will remember it and identity the concepts with you. Examples of this are Dr. Phil’s “How’s it working for you?” or Tony Robbins’ “Live with Passion”.


5. Assessment. Review how people are reacting to your new communication style and build on the messages and emotions that resonate the strongest. Focus on specifics and a laser focus to create a memorable and recognizable message. As you create your emotional messages, you will be able to evaluate which ones truly connect with people, as well as within yourself. Authenticity is key. Catch yourself in everyday life. What do you say to people? As long as the response is consistent with your brand, you can let responses help direct your path to new communication and emotionally connected relationships.


People connect with people they trust. Trust stems from powerful emotional connections people can rely on. Many people and companies put a great deal of effort into determining ways to convince people to buy into their ideas. like a lawyer in a court room. They leave out the critical missing piece that everyone looks for on a day-to-day basis and builds organic and sincere emotional connections.


Emotional connections are the soil that we can believe in to help guide us in our lives. It is this crucial difference that builds powerful relationships with profound impact and provides the opportunity to change millions of lives.


The more people feel, and the more they trust those feelings, the more they become loyal and excited supporters of an individual or company. It’s a universal concept.


Take the time to learn the difference between emotions, states and feelings. As you develop your communication to resonate with the crucial aspects of each that you want to be known for, the potential tension, resistance and negativity will be far less apparent.





Anne Leedom is the Founder of EmotionalLifeDesign.com, a premier communication and consulting agency based in California. Her unique strategies have helped hundreds of individuals and companies powerful relationships and impact millions of lives, and in many cases, just one. For more information visit www.emotionalmatrixdesign.com.